Greetings Everyone

It seems like it’s been forever since I posted a blog entry. I have found keeping up with the summers with 5 more Great Grands, that my cup run-eth over. Then there are young the adults that come with those 6 littles!!! 😊

Wren is of course getting bigger. They are still with me. My granddaughter only has 2 of the 3 years of rental history required by most, to rent a place. Our next possibility is the couple on the other side of our duplex is moving out. They have bought a house, and are very excited, they have been here for 6 years.

 We both have mixed feelings about that. If it happens, we will both just trust that it is best for both of us. She said she would rather walk 10 ft than drive 10 miles😊

We now have 3 Great granddaughters in school. It’s been about a month, and they are all still smiling. Our baby boy is now walking all over. (15 months). Our little sister of 4 is now the big sister while they are off to school. All those soiled diapers, spilled food, snotty noses and wakes up in the nights  seem to never end.

I remember my Mom (the lady with 20 children) said to me when I had 3 littles and lots of diapers. Hope there will come a day when you wish you could make all the uncomfortable parts of their lives go away with a diaper change,

I have changes the diapers of siblings, children, grandchildren, foster children and yes Great Grandchildren…

GUESS WHAT!!

She was right!!

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I came across an old poem I had written years ago, titled When did I first start to love you!. It was of course for my husband Jim, and it went through births and deaths and nearly 50 years of the thing’s life is made of. Oddly enough my mind just couldn’t stay locked on that question, without another question continuing to surface in my heart.

 WHEN DID WE FIRST START TO HATE EACH OTHER.

When did that Blessed right VS left aisle get wider than the span of years in our friendships. We seem to have let politics, gender or pronouns bury half a century + OF FRIENDSHIP!     

I guess I really began to think about it at my younger sister’s funeral last week.

Roxanne (Roxie)  Francis Towne Zinke   age 67

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There was an aisle, but it seemed invisible. It seems to have faded into the background of tears hugs and old memories. We spoke of the things we had in common. We laughed and we cried. Some joy and some sorrow, but it didn’t matter we were friends.

REMEMBER! It takes a long time to make an OLD friend.

Politicians only last for a few years.

Except some very old members of congress who seemed to be eternal.😊😊

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Most of us probably are familiar with OUR FATHER prayer. Many could recite it.

 There is a verse about 2/3s through that says FORGIVE US OUR trespasses/Sins/Debts, as/when we forgive others for their trespasses/Sins/Debts. Particularly the ones they have done against us real/or perceived.

 (If our heart feels offended, then they are on the list). Now you may think I am overreaching but I believe this is one of those verses that says if you do, I will do. If you put forgiveness in your storage chest there will be forgiveness when you need it. Kinda like money in a piggy bank, if you put money in, then you’ll have it when you need it.  If you don’t then you won’t

. I think that is what this verse says. If your heart has forgiveness stored in it for others, THEN when you need forgiveness from God or others it is there, and available.

For years I thought I had a pretty fare list of those I would or would not forgive as well as those that I would decide based on the offense.

Then it happened that one thing that you would list as unforgivable. THANK GOD HE DOESN’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE LISTS.

 (TOTALLY NOT RELATED TO MY LATE HUSBAND). But there is nothing like finding out that “someone you loved, hurt someone you loved.” Didn’t matter that it happened decades before you knew anything about it.

An offense that felt as if it had literally bruised your heart/soul.

 It affects your sleep, your appetite, your energy and the deepest effect, is to your peace of mind. I could go without sleep, food and even drag through days feeling empty and numb and weak. But knowing that deep down IT was no longer well with my soul.

A former Pastor used to say, “the heart of the matter is, it’s a matter of the heart”.

I will be honest I did not run to God and say, “Please Lord help me forgive.” It took awhile for me to get there.

Luke 23:34 says Father forgive them for they know not what they do…

let’s let that one marinate for a minute.

Has anyone ever said something to you that cut to the core. My husband did that once. When I talked to my Pastor’s wife she said “Hope do you think Jim would have ever said anything to you that he knew would hurt you this bad.”? Everything we hear goes through our mental grid system on the way to its interpretation. The answer was no he would not have. I learned through that to always ask NOW DID THEY SAY WHAT I HEARD?

Take 2 men. A farmer that was struggling through a drought and a weekend dad that had a trip to the Zoo planned with his kids.  A rainy day could mean totally different things to each of them. Same day, same rain.

In review of my own witty talk, and at times loudmouth, I realized there were probably more than a few times people’s hearts heard something totally different than my words were intended to mean.

Father, forgive them because they don’t have a clue what their words and actions are doing.

There came a time when the weight of the unforgiveness was more than I wanted or was able to carry any longer. But I knew I had to forgive that person, and God (for what I decided he should have done)..THAT WILL BE A DIFFERENT BLOG. I had to forgive the decades of silence. I concluded that the true answer was in the chest and on the key was engraved the word FORGIVENESS. That key wasn’t in God’s hands, rather it was in mine. I had been holding it so tight that it made imprints on not only my hand, but my heart. It was getting much heavier than when I first decided to carry it.

As that Forgiveness chest opened, so did my heart. My mind also became clearer.

It was first a wound, then an incision and now a scar. We can choose to look at a scar and remember the wound or the healing.

As that chest opened, I am pretty sure I saw a toolbox marked    TOOLS needed for mending fences.

Maybe you don’t need a big act of forgiveness, perhaps you just need to do some fence mending. You’ll be glad you did. I always am.

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My Aunt Joan regularly reads my blog. She said, “Sometimes they make me laugh! Sometimes they make me cry. But they always make me think!!! This has been a little heavier than some, so I’ll add this story. Enjoy Aunt Joan😊

The wheelbarrow

The story goes that a factory supervisor in charge of the company inventory noticed one day as his second shift workers were leaving, one man was pushing a wheelbarrow with a cardboard box in it. He of course stopped and asked what was in the box. It is “sawdust” was the reply. The supervisor with the obvious suspicion searches the box. Sure, enough it was full of nothing but sawdust. So, he waved him on through.

This went on for another 10 days. Finally, his curiosity got the best of him, and he decided to ask him about it.

The employee said “Am I going to get into trouble? I don’t want to lose my job. The supervisor reassured him; he would not be in trouble. Stating once again “I am just curious”. Besides watching you for the last 10 days, I would be in more trouble than you. The guy said OK if you promise I won’t lose my job I’ll tell you. After reassurance he said “I’ve been stealing wheelbarrows 😊😊

Blessings! Thanks for reading!