Happy 2nd Birthday Wren

This is How you can Rock being TWO Cool!!

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I have sat in board meetings for several organizations, and as part of the meeting everyone always spoke about their dreams which usually included for the most part, what we could do when. When we have this, or when we have that. More space, more money, a bigger committee.

On more than one of those occasions after a time of prayer the things that was repeatedly brought to our hearts was the question. What’s in your hands. Let God use what you have.

The one example is wanting to start an afterschool program for those early out days at the elementary school across the street. In our minds we need more Space, more Money, more Volunteers. Long story short with much ingenuity and many volunteers each Thursday there are from 80 to 110 kids that come from that elementary school across the street.

 Hmm! Who is my neighbor? and What’s in my hand?

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I am recalling a story of a young mom that had buried her son several months earlier, after an accident. It had been 6 months and the tearing and pain in her broken heart seemed more unbearable with each passing day. Then just as if it were planned, her phone rang. The voice on the other end was not a close friend but an acquaintance. A woman with whom her path had crossed now and again. But the bond between them was the fact she too had buried a son several months earlier than this young Mom. After the first initial how are you conversation, the woman repeated how are you? But this time added the word really!  

Her response was as follows. I really wasn’t planning to unload so completely and seconds after I did I began to prepare for her response. But it wasn’t a response full of quotes, cliches or even Bible verses. It was if she had a visual of the very pit that surrounded me…as I lifted my head possibly preparing for her response, I instead saw a ladder and watched as she lowered it down into my pit sat down beside me and didn’t say a word.

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I, Hope Bennett Must Pause Here to add my own ladder story, though many have heard it before. But I too looked up the day after my husband’s death and saw a friend which I would describe in much the same way. We had worked together closely on the founding of the Woman’s shelter in Sun Prairie, but we didn’t do much life together beyond that. She called with a welcomed, but common what can I do question.  I as if preprogrammed said, “oh there is really nothing you can, but thank you for thinking of me”, to which she responded, then can I just come and sit?

And that is exactly what she did. She sat on the floor beside my footstool, while I sat in the chair with my feet up and typed my husband’s obituary.

Just in case you were beginning to compare your ladder with your neighbors…. Just as there are different ladders, there are different pits. God’s not asking you to take my ladder, your neighbor, brother or sister’s ladder. JUST YOURS. Possibly if you recall your own pits, you’ll remember where you stashed your ladder. You know in that place of things you’ll use When! When I’m older, have more time, and get more education. No longer have kids at home, etc.

My Mom always put new things in a box under her bed. She would use it when? In 1988 their home burned, and all she had to show for all those special gifts was a bigger pile of ashes. Let’s not end our lives with the biggest pile of ashes.

I need to pull my ladder out of storage and use it to reach hurting people.

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I read a story awhile back of a man that received a scolding email from a lifetime friend accusing him of not caring that she was hurting. He went back over their communications and didn’t recognize anything that would have indicated to him that she was having a rough time. After they talked, they came to the conclusion that they needed a code phrase or something so it never happened again. One of them recalled reading that most suicides could be averted if someone came and spent only 8 minutes with them. Didn’t say they showed up with Big answers for Life’s Big questions. They just showed up. Their new code phrase would be Do You Have 8 Minutes?

Get your Ladder

When someone’s heart is broken

And you don’t know what to say

Lower your ladder and sit by their side

When you feel like running

From someone’s pain because you feel you can’t relate

Then say nothing, but still lower your ladder

When your mind is going wild

And there is much you could say

SHHH!  Just lower your ladder

They don’t need profound answers

Or scriptures or quotes

They don’t need your voice

Just lower your ladder

Remember those ladders that appeared

from the ceiling above

 you just need some steps

and they need your love.

Not a well-meaning heart

With words that may guide

But a friend setting in silence

Right by their side.

So, when someone is hurting

And you think there is much to be said

Just lower your ladder and sit there instead.

Blessings!  Thanks for Reading!