Autumn Update:

She has gone from weekly trips to UW hospital/Clinic in Madison to Monday visit from Hospice in her home. She is now able to take steroids to control nausea and vomiting. During chemo and immunotherapy, she wasn’t. It may not add days to her life, but it is adding some life to her days. She has more days where she can leave the house, drive and have more visitors. Of course that is always subject to change from hour to hour. Thank you for your continued prayers through this journey.

Selah!

In the Bible in the book of Lamentations chapter 3 Jeremiah (a prophet) watched  as Israel was under attack. Battles were happening all around him. BUT HE STOPPED! Right in the middle of his feelings of affliction and bitterness.

He stopped to ponder: Surely my soul remembers, and it bows down within me. I remember this in my mind, and therefore I have hope. His loving kindness does not cease, His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. The Lord is my portion. Therefore, I hope in Him.

Sorry I must digress a bit. Every time I see the phrase He is my portion, it reminds me of eating ice cream as a kid. We bought our ice cream in a box. We all shared that box. The best way to even attempt to serve so many, was to slice it. So, I grew up eating sliced ice cream. Sometimes the slices were so thin you could almost see the plate under it. But that was my portion and I had to share it with no one 🙂

Jeremiah reminds us to stop! The world would want us to think that to stop would mean we were nonproductive. He reminds us to stop and remember while our battles are surrounding us.

In the wintertime it appears from our vantage point that nothing is happening. Everything is barren, dark and cold. But under the cover of winter everything is working hard to prepare for the entire year ahead.

Psalm 46: 10 says, be still and KNOW … that know is the same Greek word that was used when in Genesis it says Adam knew Eve and she conceived. A place of quiet and stillness is the place where seeds are planted for a future harvest.

A body in motion stays in motion and a spirit at rest stays at rest. In the 23^rd Psalm it says He leads me to green pastures and still waters and He restores my soul BEFORE I GET TO THE VALLEY, before I can become afraid, and yes before I need comfort. He invites us to be still before we get to the valley.

The most productive thing I can do today is to stop and be nourished in the green pastures, and to be refreshed at the still waters.

Many of the Psalms end with the word Selah. It means to Pause and think about that.

 So, I end this with Selah!!!

The Falls Chapter 8 part 2. Enjoy!

When I first started this journey, I depended on other people for encouragement and strength. There certainly were a few that hung in with me and still are. But the words “Hope is back in the hospital.” had to say the least, lost its element of surprise. Soon the rest of the world went on with their lives. Even my own family. They all had jobs and kids of their own.

The many things we think we must have to make it. I found it funny, the more you loosen your grip on your self-proclaimed anchors, the more stable you become. But just like the boat tethered to the shore we allow ourselves to become bruised and battered by all that which we think is keeping us afloat. When in reality; we would be much less bruised and battered if we got far away and anchor deep.

As I spoke, I could feel an refreshment coming over me, a refreshment of both strength and hope. It was so strong I felt like if every bit of it was for this moment, then it is not in vain. Remember I was not well yet. The Bible says be ready to give a reason for the hope that lies within you. My spirit was so willing to shout it from the roof tops, but my flesh was so very weak.

I spoke for fifteen minutes about the faithfulness of God. Not only for this time but throughout my life. When you have nothing left but God you have enough to start again. Though I could look outside and see the many changes that had occurred. I could also look on the inside and feel more complete than ever before. We are so afraid he will take all enjoyment from our lives. Forgetting He is the true giver of life. It is a course in the school of life. Very few, if any have ever passed, yet he never lets us go; for our own good.

It’s like the fourth of July when your five year old is so mesmerized by the beauty of the hand held sparklers, when it begins to get to hot it burns them,  they are unable to understand it is the beautiful sparkler that is causing them pain, just let go and it will quit hurting. As they say, “That will preach.”

In the vineyard, the most pruning goes on, when the branches are a beautiful flowing vine. The bigger the vine, the smaller the grapes. All of the nutrients go into making the vine big and beautiful, not into the grapes. I remember as a kid my mom and dad would always snip the little suckers off the tomato plants. When I ask my dad why/ He would say they will get big and bushy, but fruit will be poor. Just like people, do we care more about looking good to others, or bearing fruit? None of us like to be pruned, but without it, we will bear very little fruit.

It is easier, not easy, but easier to take pruning when we remember why it is happening. There is always a reason 2 CO 1:3 tells us why. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God

There was a lot I didn’t understand about the entire ordeal, but I did know it wasn’t about then, and it wasn’t even about me. It was about souls and eternity.

Grape vines are pruned for fruit, not for looks. There is nothing attractive about a vine going through the process of pruning.  It looks as if it is being stripped of everything, being left bare and empty. Not to mention unattractive. But just hang in, when the season comes to an end, there will be big juicy fruit. Knowing that God was the one with the pruning scissors in his hand was comforting. It took me awhile to understand that I was not being punished, rather pruned for a larger fruit yield. The Bible speaks of that piece that passes our understanding. But it goes even deeper than that. As you grow and learn to trust it even passes your need to understand.

When I first got sick, I confessed every sin I had ever committed, several times. Once again, I am reminded of the scripture where Jesus prayed for Peter. He did not pray that Peter would not fail, rather that his faith would not fail. I asked if he would please pray the same thing for me.

After I sang and finished speaking my sister took me directly back to my room. I was beginning to slump forward in my wheelchair. As I said before I had lost a lot of muscle tone. My body was tired, weak and unattractive, my mind and emotions somewhat spent. But my spirit had mounted up with the wings as an eagle. I once again was reminded, pruning only lasts for a season. Psalms 30:5 says sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Once again, I am reminded it’s about trust.

Before I left, I went into the conference hall where a few were gathered. A lady in her late 30’s came over to me with tears running down her cheek. She said I was hoping that I could speak with you before you left. I want you to know that I came to this conference, but I really didn’t want to be here. I knew I needed a word from the Lord if I was going to go on. You will never know what it meant to me to see that you obviously are still in the middle of this testing time, and you have found a place in him that is taking you through. If you had come here totally healing and testified of his power and faithfulness it would have caused an emotional outburst of praise. But what I needed was hope, and you came and gave me that hope. I can see the pain in your body, and the weakness in your voice, but I see such hope in your eyes.

She went on to tell me. Four months ago, after 13 years of marriage, her husband had walked out on her. Several weeks later it was discovered that he had molested their daughters. After they had come to her, and he was arrested he confessed. She said I needed to know that he is here in the middle of my storm. That he is faithful even when I can’t necessarily see his hand at work. When I heard you talk of how the word had become the very substance that nourishes your life, I realized I need to get back in the word. I feel as if I have had the wind knocked out of me, but today I felt the breath of God, and my soul has found peace. I know there is a long road ahead, but you have greatly encouraged me.

That encounter did two things for me. It helped me realize that God only needs willingness to use us. Number 2 there is always someone going through something worse. It is not the size of our problems that determines if we make it through, but the size of our God.

While it is true that her problems were caused by the sins of man, her God is still the same. The Bible says in Psalm 119 that His word is settled in heaven. It will not change, it is forever and ever, it will do its good work. Nothing else is for sure in life, except God’s Word. It is a lamp unto our feet, a light unto our paths. It gives us life. It is everlasting, it gives us strength, hope and encouragement. Just to mention a few. It is for me and you as much as for Billy Graham, Mother Theresa or any others that we think of as great in the kingdom of God.

Nothing can replace that peace that you receive in the middle of your storm. He alone is the anchor that holds, regardless of our storm. Be they self-induced or not. It is not about what we do, but what He has done.

He stretched out his arms on an old rugged cross. They welcomed whoever would come. I have crawled many times into those outstretched arms. While he held me there, he whispered “trust me.”

I remember when I was a little girl, that if I had trouble sleeping my dad would be home soon. He pulled in the yard about 12:15 every night. I could always drift off to sleep as soon as I heard him coming down the road. It felt safe to fall asleep when he got home. Remember that no matter your pain, fear or heartache. It will be OK because Daddy’s in the house.

Blessings!  Thanks for Reading!