AUTUMN  UPDATE:

Due to continued weight loss, ALL cancer Treatments have been discontinued. BUT GOD!!

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Yesterday I took a 335-mile road trip, mostly in the hills of Wisconsin. Everything is green and gorgeous. I spend so much time driving main roads or interstates, it not only caused me to slow down (literally) 😊, but I was forced to look around and remember the beauty of our state. To see the many little things that make you say AWE! There were cows and horses grazing in the open pastures. My area has BIG non grazing cattle farms. It was nice to see the farms that were indicative of my era.*

A line in my devotions yesterday said “We need to remember that we reside in a fallen world where blessings and sorrows intermingle freely”! 

After the call from Autumn this morning stating that all treatment for the cancer will now stop, I felt the weight of that (GREAT INTERMINGLING). At times the sun was completely blocked by the bluffs and trees, other times it peaked through gorgeous rays. Then I would come over a hill and it would be bouncing off the bluffs for miles (Wisconsin’s mini mountains) 😊. 

I wept silently, cried out loud, big tears, silent tears, and hot tears. Though my soul felt wounded, my eyes could still gaze at the beauty of creation and my ears heard peace as I opened the window and listened to the birds sing.

As I sat with my windows and sun roof open, I had to come to grips once again with the words of my morning devotion REMEMBER…we reside in a fallen world and both blessing and sorrow intermingle freely.

Once again, I must add these scriptures

Habakkuk 3: 17-18 NIV

Though the fig tree has no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine. The olive crops are failing and there is no wheat in the field. Both the sheep and cattle pens remain empty. I will still trust and rejoice in My Lord.

This is no longer about life and death…but about a mom’s struggling heart as she sits back feeling rather helpless as her child struggles.

Enjoy another segment of intermingling Sorrow and Joy.

The Falls Chapter 7 / Part 2

I left my home on a Monday morning. Remember, I was to be going in for tests that day. No specific tests, just more tests.

A lot of people thought I was nuts; I wasn’t too sure myself. I just knew that I couldn’t have any more medicine put in my body. It was zapping more of my strength each time. The only thing I knew for sure at this time was that I had heard from the Lord. I know you would think that would be all that one would need, but I was still afraid and uncertain as to my future. More to the point, was I even going to have one, here on earth anyway?

As afraid as I was, it wasn’t anything compared to the look on my sister’s face when we arrived? She said she had no idea how sick I really was, when she asked me to come. Nevertheless, on some level we both knew that the other had heard from God or we wouldn’t have been there together. She always says she isn’t nursing material. I know there were things that really bothered her, but she kept going anyway, for no other reason than I was her sister. We had just lost our mom and I think she was determined to do anything not to lose another family member. She and I have been close for a long time.

The Bible says hospitality is a gift and she most certainly has it. She made me a bed in the brightest room in the house. I really appreciated it too, though I am not sure that I was appearing grateful. I think I whined a lot. Didn’t mean to, but I think I did.

My skin was very burned from the reaction to the antibiotic; she used to vacuum the skin out of my bed. Twice a day she would put olive oil over my entire body. I know that is why it healed up as nice as it did. She certainly didn’t have to do that, but she did.  

Noel came over each day to see how I was doing. They did ginger poultices over my kidneys, although we couldn’t do it for the length of time she would have liked to because of my burned skin. I took a lot of herbs to detox my system. We also tried to get the nutrients in my body that it had been so depleaded. I truly believed and still do that if our bodies have the nutrients, they need they will heal themselves, which is how they were created. Therefore, we cleaned out the bad, and replenished the good.

It was a trying time for all of us. People came and prayed and visited. It is such a blessing to have people of faith at your side. I have found there are a great number of believers, but only a few that believe. Interpretation* I haven’t found many Christians who will really grab on to the promises of God and stand with you.

It is easy to believe in God’s ability to provide when you have money in your wallet, or to heal when you are healthy. It is quite another to stand with someone that has nothing else to stand on but the promises of God. We have a multitude of back up plans in America, leaving us little need to depend on him and him alone. Friends that serve on the mission field in Pakistan say they would backslide in America, because we don’t need God for our daily existence.

Have you ever had someone pray for you, then turn around when asked and tell someone “Well she is dying not much we can do”? Why in the world do we even pray.

 They tell you I am here because I am called by God to pray for the sick, but not our will but his be done. Makes me think of Moses (in the Bible) when he held his arms up they were winning the battle. When his arms got tired and started to come down, they would begin to lose the battle. Then Aaron, his brother and Hur came and held up his arms. They gave their strength, in his time of weakness.

 A lot of good it would have done for Moses, had they gone and reminded how tired his arms were getting. Let me say if you are going to pray and believe with the person, Please! Please! go. The Bible says that when two or three agree on one thing. That agreement is not a mental type of agreement; it is a believing, a knowing, and trusting the same source. A spiritual calling, to come and stand along beside. This is the power and faith it takes to be part of those two or three in agreement.

It was very hard on my stomach to take all thee herbs I needed. Remember I had three holes burned in my stomach from the antibiotic. I threw up a lot. It took a while but we figured out they stayed down better in the morning than at night. At the time, it seemed forever, but it was only six days into the detox treatment that my kidneys began working. I was never so excited in my life about going to the bathroom. The specialist had told us if my kidneys kicked back in there would be quantity before quality. I did go a lot, but it was as clear as water because they weren’t filtering yet. BUT they were headed in the right direction. I try and remember that excitement when my 53-year-old bladder wakes me at 2 in the morning. 😊   (Now 73 year old bladder) 😊

It reminds me of a call I received from this very laid-back Dr. He said “Hope you seem to have contracted a urinary track infection. I would like you to come in and give us a urine sample. Do you think that you could drink a large soda, or coffee on your way here? I said Dr. K I am a 52-year-old woman; we can pee on demand.

Another time I had one call and tell me, they wanted me to come and give them a first morning urine sample. I laughed out loud, to clarify, I repeated back to them, you want me to get up, get dressed and drive 20 miles before going to the bathroom. I have a hard time making it the 20 steps to my bathroom.

Anyway, I was crying and laughing at the same time because I was making urine. I never really feared death, that doesn’t mean I was totally sure yet that I was going to live. I just knew that the verse in Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I also knew it was true for my family. They would make it with or without me.

 However, I did not want to think about living on dialysis, or in a wheelchair or bedridden. I knew this meant I had turned a corner, one more step in realizing the faithfulness of my God. I didn’t know there were yet many more steps before my life became in any way close to normal. Whatever that is. Months later my daughter walked in the door of our home with tears in her eyes. She said,” Mom it is so good to see you sitting at the table by the window, it has been a long time.                    This is the normal thing  I speak of.

Blessings! Thanks for reading!