A friend laid on her stomach to get a picture of this one foot tall fire flower, with an over 9000 ft Mt St Helen backdrop.

I think one of the most consistent positions in my life, regardless of which hat I had on, was to try to get people to possibly entertain someone else’s perspective.

That continues even now at 72. Let me give you some background. When I was born, I was number 10, including my parents that lived at our house. From 1951-1988, 12 more joined the family. My sister Doris passed away on her 8^th day.

So, right off the ba,t there were age gaps of 15,20,25 years in our sibling group, thus giving room to varying perspectives.

A couple pivotal events widen the perspective gap. Let me say here, our parents are just people walking life out, figuring it out like the rest of it.

When I was around 7 years old, my parents and family began to attend church. Prior to this there was cussing, smoking, drinking. My parents were hard workers, so none of it was all consuming, but it was where they went to recharge. Not sure if my mom ever drank, but I do remember her struggle to quit smoking. My dad had a bit of a mean streak, and like the rest of us, when we add any mind-altering substances, we all fall quickly back to our default setting.

I remember very little of the actual drinking, as it stopped when I was 7. But the anger that went with the drinking, didn’t magically disappear with the alcohol. My dad’s flavor of discipline was always physical. Before church he *disciplined* us and swore at us. After starting church, he disciplined us and quoted scripture.

I guess the Bible says, “Out of the abundance of the heart your mouth speaks.”  So, I guess from cussing to scriptures, meant his heart was changing. I loved church so I kind of had a front row seat to this transformation in our parent’s lives.

The older kids were (young teens) for the most part by that time and FROM MY PERSPECTIVE they weren’t really excited about it.

I always say, we were kind of 3 families in one. I was the bottom of the top and the top of the middle. Most of us in the middle lived in the transition time. The younger kids have no recollection of any smoking, drinking, only small occasional peeks at the cussing and anger.

So, I can attest to the fact that giving your life over to God works. It’s not magic, but we are all better off when we realize we don’t have to walk life out all alone. We have a God that wants to be part of our everyday lives. Not a religion, but rather a relationship.

So, in my family the descriptions of our parents and childhoods vary greatly from the older siblings to the younger ones. Neither are wrong.

The next great pivotal moment was just as the younger ones were growing into their teens, our family home burned to the ground. This was in 1978.  So, my parents moved to Tomah. A totally different world. Inside plumbing, you heated your house by turning a button on the wall, VS logging, hauling, and chopping wood, The kids could be involved in things at school. It was so much easier on our parents. They still worked hard, but had time to enjoy other things. So once again a very different frame of reference in the same sibling group.

I have had many opportunities to navigate those conversations, all coming from each person’s perspective.

As a foster parent it was kind of the same thing. Trying to get social workers not to throw out the baby with the wash water. Or the parents to not always see the system as the enemy. When the best thing for all of the kids, was for everyone to try to find some… be it ever so small common ground to start from.

Our dream was always to have a duplex where we could have natural parents right next door. We would have the kids while everyone figured out the areas needing tweaked. Then reunite them, without them ever being torn totally apart.

I think it was kind of like trying to catch a big fish with a small hook. We have never done it that way, won the vote each time, regardless of how good an idea they thought it was. Perspective shifts don’t come easily.

Another perspective shift is the one each of us have during various moments of our lives. I wish I had; I wish I would not have, did this, done that, said this or said that.  I just want to encourage each of us to remember we probably did our best from the perspective of the 1st rung of the ladder. It is always easy to stand on rung number 7 and analyze all our mistakes, or perceived mistakes of rung 1.  

Looking back isn’t always a bad thing, BUT don’t get caught up in the should-a, would-a, could-as. The view from the 7th rung always appears clearer. It’s the hindsight thing.

I think the best thing we can do is to remember someday we will look back at today in hindsight. So, let’s ask ourselves right now, is there something I can do differently, that will cause my heart to smile as I lay my head on the pillow THIS NIGHT?

        Blessing! Thanks for reading!

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>A weed is just a plant that someone thinks is growing in the wrong place.

 > Sometimes the best way to gain perspective is to Zoom Out!