Autumn Update:

Yesterday was one of those memory building days. Our 3^rd granddaughter Gabby is getting married next May. This weekend she went and tried on wedding dresses. Her Mom, his mom, Grandma Hope and aunt Autumn were all invited. She and Autumn have always been close since she made her grand entrance into this world on Autumn’s 25^th birthday. August 19^th they both will turn another calendar year. We are all so very grateful for each of those days.

Autumn needs more help getting up and down and in and out. But was able to walk around the Bridal shop with a cane. Today she is feeling like she drained her energy tank.

Currently, she is struggling to find the balance between enough steroids to keep her energy up and too much steroid that causes her face and feet to swell. The swelling causes a lot of pain in her feet.

They still haven’t found a place to live. They must be moved out by the end of this month. There is such a shortage of housing. Her husband needs to stay near Reedsburg where he works, or at least a reasonable driving distance. He has part of the insurance.

                  Great Grandma’s Albums

This was an interesting week. I went to our youngest daughter Sara’s house to help her watch my four great granddaughters, while my granddaughter and her husband took a mini vacation to Kentucky. They from time-to-time transport Amish individuals.

Sara is an Uber and delivery driver. She leaves for work about 6 am then returns home about 1 until 4:30 when she goes out until about ten.

She did a very nice job of having the house child proofed so I didn’t have to continuously say no or jump to rescue items. She had one room for them to play in and the living room also had a lot of space to play. I have found that little girls are the most comfortable when they are close enough to see you. THOUGH THEY TALK CONTINOUSLY 😊 She bought little kid food, which was nice. (No cooking involved)

I say that but pause here to say the girls are 11 months, 2 years, almost 4 and just turned 5.  It has been a minute since I did this. But I fit my schedule into Sara’s schedule, which she had fit into the kid’s schedule 😊

We colored, read books, watched movies, sang and napped.

I think it was good that it was hot enough that they didn’t even want to be outside much.

 However! Great grandma Hope did not check the weather before starting out the door Wednesday for a front yard picnic. The girls went out the door ahead of me and I was carrying our picnic basket as well as baby Jaylyn. By the time I got a good deep breath of the humidity they were already steps ahead of me. No turning back at this point. They enjoyed there Lunchables, cookies and cold water, then off they went to run around with their preschool enthusiasm

I then made the choice to sit down with the baby, then it got interesting. The only place to sit was in one of the three Adirondack chairs. Let me refresh your memory in case you have forgotten. These chairs were made by someone that thought it was a great idea to have your butt 4 inches below your knees while you sit. Sitting isn’t the problem but attempting to get my 200 ++ pounds up out of that chair was 😊

The little girls immediately headed for the shade. The garage steps and about a 5-foot-wide strip of shaded grass was a fun place for them to run back and forth. I am sure at their age it seemed like a football field.

Meanwhile back at the chair. I knew I would need both hands if I had even a prayer of getting out of this wonderful summer seating invention. To have both hands free, I would have to do something with this 11-month-old that really wanted to get down off my lap. So, I decided to go for it I sat her down and tried quickly 😊, to get myself out of this wonderful chair. I did achieve my goal but it wasn’t pretty or graceful. Meanwhile little miss Jaylyn has handfuls of grass, black dirt, all the while being excited and mesmerized by a large family of earwigs.

I called the girls down to help clean up lunch, which they did in record time, because they weren’t anymore excited by the heat than I was.

Field trips to the outside had now officially been crossed off the activity list for the week.

At their age a picnic on the front porch was sufficient.

One day we went out while the baby was sleeping to blow bubbles. I sat on the steps and they blew bubbles by the sidewalk. An older gentleman went past with his walker. They all greeted each other as the girls continued blowing bubbles. As he passes the 4 year old yells out “I think I got him with a bubble”. I was hoping then that his hearing wasn’t keen.

It was quite a time. It really wasn’t bad except at my age my routine, and my food, and my bed, all effect my energy and attitude😊 It reminds me why I had toddlers 50 years ago.

I read a post today that said

Your parents don’t love the grandkids more than you. It’s just that when they cuddle them, it’s like cuddling a version of you all over again.

This made me both cry and realize exactly why I just spent 3 LONG! 😊 days with my four preschool great granddaughters.

As I cuddled each of them, I remembered days gone by and I added more pictures to the albums in my heart!

The Falls chapter 10  ENJOY!

         Oct 17, 2002, Headed home again. Still weak, and unable to stand, or walk alone. However, the horrible pain I had twelve days earlier was gone. My liver levels were not at the desired levels, making my doctor quite hesitant to send me home. I convinced him that it could be a long wait for normal levels. Normal wasn’t a word that we used a lot.

 When I listen to all the levels, I just feel helpless. They seemed always to be too high, too low. Psalms 119:96 “There comes an end to what man can do, then you go home.” Of course, this is my own paraphrase. They weren’t quite as excited about my faith in God as I was.

         My husband had used all his sick days, so he absolutely had to return to work. Even with a family as large as mine I was running out of helpers. However, I did have one sister that wasn’t working at the time, so she came for a couple of weeks. I have said it before I know it, but my family was such a great blessing. From my sisters who physically cared for me, to my brothers who would slip calls into the various ICUs to see how I was.

 I remember one ICU nurse coming in after I had had a test of some sort, with a message that my brother called. I said which one. She said why how many do you have, name them I’ll recognize the name. I have nine of them. She said I’m sorry I promise I will write them down from now on 😊Thank You to all my family, for caring, praying, and just plain remembering me.

         By the end of the month, I graduated to a recliner, which meant I didn’t have to spend all my time in the bedroom. I still had to have it reclined or I would slump over from the lack of muscle strength, but it was a welcome change. I could see outside. The day I came home from the hospital we took a short moment before walking into the house. I looked out across the lawn to where our big blue pool was, it now sat with the cover full of leaves. We set it up and filled it with water the weekend before I had surgery on my knee. I had lost an entire season. It was OK though; I was supposed to have lost my life.

 At least I could sit without getting lightheaded. My blood count still was not where it belonged. Normal is around 12 and it had dropped closer to 8. Nevertheless, I was Home!!!

I wasn’t doing cartwheels, but I wasn’t sleeping my life away either. My food was beginning to stay down. I could walk with help. I was as pale as a ghost and had lost 64 pounds in 5 months. “I was home”, and I knew if I could go without any major health upsets and I could stay out of the hospital, I would be able to get stronger.

         We had a hayride-birthday party for our granddaughter, at the end of Oct. All her aunts and uncles, as well as all four grandparents were there. It was a small trailer pulled behind the lawn tractor full of leaves but to them, it will forever be called a hayride.

I remember the first time I was able to get up on that old garden tractor and give them a ride. It was a year later of course, same old tractor and trailer, just new leaves. I felt like a million bucks. I soon figured out I had pushed it a bit that first time, but we were making memories. It was important for the grandkids to see grandma out and about. Important for grandma too! Evidence to all, that our God is Faithful.

 I remember asking my mom when at times she would look so spent, if she was sick, or in pain. Her answer was almost always the same, and honestly, I was unable to understand until now. She would reply I don’t feel sick or hurt anywhere: I am just so very weak. That was exactly what I felt like. For the most part the pain was gone. I absolutely felt depleted of strength. It is a very hard thing to explain.

                 I don’t know how many times in my life I had heard stories of people that almost died, or were horribly sick, then came back to conquer some big seemingly impossible goal. I don’t know if others think like I do, but those stories always made me wonder. What if I got sick, or had a bad accident, would I fight to come back: or I just let it destroy me. Well, this was such a time as that. They had done what they could do, I was no longer dieing, but I had a very long way to go before I could care for myself again. I wasn’t asking why, but I shook my head each time I passed a mirror. I was thin, gaunt, and as wrinkled as an 80-year-old.

         It was a big day when I could get in and out of the bed to toilet myself on the bedside commode. Now it wasn’t a graceful thing, and it took awhile but I could do it. I cried for the first time. Each step was another reason to say, “Thank You Jesus, we are doing it, aren’t we?”

Now I wasn’t always singing glorious tunes of gratitude. There were times I would get frustrated and angry. I remember a sermon on backsliding; the preacher said the first step in falling away from closeness with God is becoming ungratefulness. Sometimes my prayer of gratitude was Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food I can eat, thank you for the birds that sing, Thank you Lord for everything. I loved my Jesus, but as the scripture says my spirit was willing, but my flesh was so weak.

Though I couldn’t find words to express how wonderful it was being home, it was an adjustment. No more 2 am visits with God, no prayer time before blood work or IV. I still prayed but life has continual change in seasons. Though mountain top experiences get more press, there is something so very precious to be said about the intimacy that one finds with God in the valley.

 Many people dropping by with best wishes. I am very grateful for friends and prayers. The Bible says in 3 JOHN 1: I pray that you may enjoy good health, and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It just didn’t feel as well with my soul. That part of me that only me and God see.

         I made a call to a Pastor friend of mine. I gave him the abbreviated version of the past several months. First, he commended me on looking to the Lord for my healing, and for trusting him. Then he gave me another key to the kingdom. He said when you are in an intimate relationship with someone you spend your time gazing into their face and their eyes. Looking at one’s hands is not intimate.

He further explained that while I was hospitalized, and things were day by day, I was continually looking into the Lord’s face. Now that things are not as urgent, I lowered my gaze to his hands, and what I could get from them: mainly my healing. My prayers had changed from enjoying time with him in the wee hours of the morning, to throwing up a prayer for healing each morning and night.

In our society we usually think sexual when we speak of intimacy, but to me true intimacy was more like taking a walk hand in hand. Sometimes not saying a word. Just being…together.

While it is not wrong, we are most certainly encouraged in the Word to seek and knock. But only in the context of finding our healer, falling in love with our healer, not seeking the healing. I found as I raised my gaze from his hands his face, the intimacy returned. Once again, I felt the love and security that had been missing.

It reminds me of a conversation between a married couple while riding down the road. The wife said to her husband “How come when we first got married, I sat close to you, and you would put your arm around my shoulders while you drove. Now we each sit on our sides of the seat and hardly speak a word. He looked across the front seat and said, “Well I haven’t moved.” The moral of that short story is when we don’t feel as close to God as we once did. Guess Who Moved?

 It doesn’t have to be well with your circumstances, to be well with your soul. And once again it felt well with my soul. Though God is much more tolerant than us, I think we all have those people that only show up when they want something. They never come to just spend time with us. I had for that short period of time, started doing the same thing with God.

Blessings! Thanks for Reading!